


[podfic] The Very Happy Carlton

by eafay70



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Mascots, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 09:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16807531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Carlton reacts to long-awaited news.





	[podfic] The Very Happy Carlton

**Author's Note:**

> A quick reaction to the big news of the day! :D
> 
> To explain further:  
> -Calrton's first public appearance was at a game against the Islanders. Sparky's reintroduction was at a game against the Maple Leafs. Therefore, for the purposes of my mascots verse, they are very good friends. Matt Martin having played for both and having a very cute dog is simply a plus.
> 
> -The other reason I went with Sparky is that Dec. 1 is coincidentally the Islanders' first game back at the Nassau Coliseum, so Sparky would be unable to take a phone call.
> 
> -I'm from New Jersey, but I did my best at a Canadian accent for Carlton and a New York accent for Sparky. Hopefully they're decent.
> 
> -I came up with a rather melodramatic idea for a podfic awhile back in the event Willy didn't actually sign. When he did sign, I panicked...until his [Instagram post about it](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq3Iy55nu1j/) got me thinking.
> 
> -The song parodied is "Three Lions (Football's Coming Home)" by the Lightning Seeds. The lyrics came to me in the shower while I was remembering [Kappy talking](https://theathletic.com/684018/2018/11/29/for-kasperi-kapanen-william-nylanders-return-to-the-leafs-would-be-a-dream-come-true/) about dreaming of Willy having signed, then waking up disappointed.
> 
> -I wrote and recorded this in one sitting. I've done noise reduction via Audacity, but that's it. I thought about making a cover with the Instagram picture, but I realized that I don't know the protocol on using that sort of a picture, so there's no cover. (Plus I really want this out there!)

[click here for MP3 (2:51)](https://mega.nz/#!Orp1iARa!itdjZXnYGFkD1dYQev4xoqKagUZw04l8N1btvQYZXW8)

[](https://mega.nz/#!Orp1iARa!itdjZXnYGFkD1dYQev4xoqKagUZw04l8N1btvQYZXW8)

"The Very Happy Carlton"  
A Hockey RPF Fic  
Written and performed by eafay70  
Starring Carlton the Bear and Sparky the Dragon,  
with mentions of William Nylander, Matt Martin, Mitch Marner, Auston Matthews, and Kasperi Kapanen

Carlton had spent waaay too long worrying about Willy. He wanted to believe that things would turn out all right in the end, but it was very difficult to do so at this point.

"As soon as it's over, call me," his dear friend Sparky ordered. "I have a bunch of exclusive pet pics from Matt that I can send you."

"But it's your big day!" Carlton argued. "You're going back to your old place! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Sparky, being a New Yorker, was very stubborn when he wanted to be, and right now he wanted to be. "Call. Me. If I don't answer, leave a voicemail. I know you don't want to bother anyone, but your boys aren't home, and I don't like the thought of you all by yourself. So, what are you going to do?"

"Call you," Carlton sighed.

"Exactly."

As the fateful hour approached, Carlton got even more worried. He was kind of grateful that his boys were in Minnesota for tonight's game because it meant he didn't have to interact with them right away, but he was starting to see Sparky's point about not wanting to be alone.

Then the news broke with minutes to spare.

Carlton stared in shock until 5:15. It didn't click until the texts started pouring in from his mascot friends, at which point he made the call. He wasn't surprised that it went to voicemail.

"Sparky, it's me. I still can't believe it, but it's true, and all I can do is sing:

Twenty-nine on a shirt  
Mitch's smile gleaming  
No more Auston hurt  
No more Kappy dreaming

He's coming home, he's coming home, he's coming,  
Willy's coming home."

The End  
If you'd like more pods of this nature, please comment on AO3 or reach out to me on Tumblr. I'm eafay70 in both places.  
Thank you for listening!

**Author's Note:**

> tysm to Lotts, whose message telling me that they still listen to my other mascot podfic encouraged me to do this!
> 
> Please let me know here or [on Tumblr](https://eafay70.tumblr.com) if you have ideas for this verse! (For what it's worth, I am in fact open to the idea of including mascots from women's hockey and other non-NHL teams!!)


End file.
